No, me and my husband are not separating! We are doing just fine and dandy. What I am talking about is separating yourself from others. I am very good at this, just ask my friends. When I am not doing very well mentally or spiritually or even physically, I tend to separate myself from my church friends and from church entirely. I don’t really understand why I pull into my shell when I so need the help and encouragement, but I suspect it has something to do with pride.

Now, I would have told you six months ago that I didn’t have a problem with pride, but I believe that almost every sin that you commit can be traced back to a problem with pride. Here are just a few things that the Bible says about pride.

When pride comes, then comes disgrace, but with humility comes wisdom.
Proverbs 11:2 NIV

Pride goes before destruction, a haughty spirit before a fall.
Proverbs 16:18 NIV

That is just a couple of the verses that have to do with pride. I think that God knew that this would be a big struggle for us.

Now, back to my separating. When I am not feeling well mentally (depressed, down, etc.) or physically (just not feeling well), then I tend to quit calling my friends, doing my Bible study, going to church, going to friend’s houses, etc. What I should do instead is call my friends (especially church friends) and allow them to encourage me. I am an encourager myself, but I just don’t allow my friends to do this for me. Case in point, a month or so ago, I was really down. I went to a friend’s house for Bible study and broke down. I was not myself and my friend knew this. She begged me to go out to lunch with her-she was even going to pay, but I keep telling her no. I wouldn’t allow her to spend time with me and encourage me. She was doing exactly what she was supposed to do, but I didn’t allow her to do it (Sorry, Karen!). It was pride. I don’t want people to see me falling apart. I don’t want them to see me down. I don’t want to be a downer for them. Why? Because of pride. I have a problem with this. In fact, my husband pointed out the fact that I had began my separating act this week. I didn’t go to small group last Wednesday (excuse that Abbie was potty-training, but I still could have gone) and I didn’t go to church Sunday (excuse that my back was hurting and it was, but I could still have gone)and I didn’t go to our friend’s house Friday night (excuse that KellyAnn was not feeling well and she wasn’t, but I normally wouldn’t have let that stop me). My husband was right (I hope he doesn’t read this! TEE HEE!!). I was starting it, but I quickly put an end to it when he pointed it out. I picked myself up, dusted off my pants, and went to Bible Study Monday morning, where I was greatly blessed by our Beth Moore Bible study.

I said all that to say this. Pride is a big issue for me and probably is for many of you out there. Think about any sin that you have a problem with. If you really sift it out, is pride at the forefront of it? I am almost positive that you will find that it is.

Lord, please show me when I am being prideful. Send my friends and family to point it out when I am separating. I cannot be the woman that you want me to be without spending time with my church family. Let them be a blessing to me, just as I try to be a blessing to them. Thank you, Lord.

Smiles and Loves! Janis

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  1. Wow. This is exactly what I’m going through right now. I don’t have a church home, and have found many reasons to not have one. I don’t have many Christian friends who are encouragers, so count yourself blessed there! ((hugs))

    Thank you for shining a light on the pride issue. I know I am full of it – literally! 🙂 Thank you for sharing this honestly!

  2. I’m dealing with a ‘control’ issue but pride is sure to be in there somewhere 🙂
    Great article, wonderful insights. As ‘lundie’ mentioned, you are blessed to have Christian friends that are truly there for you. And it sounds like you have a pretty wonderful Christian husband too 🙂

  3. Oh I do this to. In fact a friend stopped in the post office the other day and told my husband that I haven’t been returning her phone calls…my husband’s reply “she hasn’t been getting back to anyone…so it’s not just you.” I even “separate” myself from my blog and also commenting on my friends’ blogs.

  4. I can be like that, too…and have never thought of it as “pride”…but you are SO right.

    Thank you for sharing.

  5. Janis, you have read my mail???

    I am going thru the same thing and yes, I go into shutdown mode too. Pride is my definate struggle sin I can’t seem to maintain faithfully. Deep down inside I just think I can fix everything, and I can’t.

  6. Excellant post! You write what we all deal with if we are honest.

  7. I am sorry it should be “excellent”

  8. I could have written your post. What is it with us women? For some reason we think it is fine to be uplifting to others but we should be able to get through our own down times by sheer determination. Thanks for the words of wisdom.

  9. I tell you, pride will strangle us without us even realizing what the issue is sometimes! I reserve the right to try lunch again the next time you’re having a rough day – and this time you can’t say no 😉

  10. Janis–great thoughts about the separating. I agree that withdrawing isn’t always the right thing to do, but I too do this at times.

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