Words can be dangerous. You may get exactly what you said that you wanted. That is what happened to me today and it surprised me by how much it hurt. My husband is leading a men’s retreat this weekend and last night he asked if I was going to help him pack.
Me-“You never help me pack. I have to pack all my stuff by myself.”
Him-nothing. Absolutely quiet.

Later on…
Him-“Are you going to help me pack in the morning?”
Me (trying to get to sleep)-“No.”

Now, I thought that he should pack for himself. That way he has everything that he needs and he doesn’t have anyone to blame but himself if something isn’t packed. However, when I woke up this morning and asked him if he needed help, he said that he was all packed and didn’t need my help. It hurt my feelings. Why? He did exactly what I wanted. I asked him if he was mad at me and he said “no.” Why am I so torn up about this? Because I wasn’t the person that I want to be. I didn’t serve him and help him like he has for me many times before. I could give many different excuses-tiredness, etc., but the point is that my words were not kind and honoring to God. He admitted that I had made him “ill” at me last night with my words. I feel bad about that. Instead of supporting him in doing his work for God, I was selfish and wanted to sleep.

God warned us about words in His Word.

“They sharpen their tongues like swords and aim their words like deadly arrows.” Psalm 64:3

I didn’t think anything about what I said to my husband, but my word was an arrow to him, because it upset him that I wouldn’t help him pack.

18 He who conceals his hatred has lying lips,
and whoever spreads slander is a fool.
19 When words are many, sin is not absent,
but he who holds his tongue is wise.
20 The tongue of the righteous is choice silver,
but the heart of the wicked is of little value.
Proverbs 10:18-20

I want to be wise in God’s eyes. To do this, I will have to learn to hold my tongue. This is difficult for me, but to be the woman that God wants me to be and to do the work that He has for me to do, then I will have to use my words more carefully or I will destroy what He is trying to build.

Reckless words pierce like a sword, but the tongue of the wise brings healing.
Proverbs 12:18

Don’t you want to bring healing to others? I want to be an instrument of healing to others, but my reckless words can cause them even more pain.

What are some good things about words? If they are used correctly and carefully, then you can make quite an impact upon others.

Pleasant words are a honeycomb, sweet to the soul and healing to the bones.
Proverbs 16:24

May the words of my mouth and the meditation of my heart be pleasing in your sight, O LORD, my Rock and my Redeemer. Psalm 19:14

How sweet are your words to my taste, sweeter than honey to my mouth! Psalm 119:103

I want my words to be honey to others. I want to be encouraging, loving, and kind. If my words do not show this, then my actions will be in vain.

8 Do not be afraid of them, for I am with you and will rescue you,” declares the LORD.
9 Then the LORD reached out his hand and touched my mouth and said to me, “Now, I have put my words in your mouth. 10 See, today I appoint you over nations and kingdoms to uproot and tear down, to destroy and overthrow, to build and to plant.”

I want the Lord to touch my mouth like He did to Jeremiah and put His words in my mouth. I want to learn how to control my tongue. I don’t want to hurt my family or friends with careless words.

Lord, help me to learn how to tame the tongue. I have heard in Your Word that the words of my mouth can be harmful or healing to others. Lord, I want them to be healing, encouraging, and loving to everyone I am with. I want to be a light for You and to do this, I must discipline myself to speak only those words that You would have me to speak. Thank You for Your Word and Your love for me. I praise You, Lord. AMEN

Smiles and Loves! Janis

Recommended Articles


  1. We have started a new scripture memory system and a few of those scriptures are in my list of ones to learn. It’s amazing how quickly and deeply words can wound, isn’t it??

  2. Oh, amen Janis. I’ve been realizing more and more that in order to control the “whole animal” you have to tame the tongue. That has been my goal for the New Year. Words are so powerful, for good and for evil. Great post!

  3. Oh the tongue and trying to tame that thing! I can relate. Sometimes I may say the right words but my tone may be totally opposite and the hearer still hears the unpleasant thing. I need to watch that too!

    Thanks for the reminder!

  4. Great points!

    Maybe, in your heart, you needed him to ask in a different way…something like, “Honey, would you help me pack? You have such a nice touch. I smile when I open my suitcase and the trip is brighter.” (ok, I’m being a dreamer here, but you know what I mean?) :-)C

  5. Janis,
    Learning to serve my husband with a right heart even when I was tired, didn’t want to or didn’t feel things were fair was one of the hardest lessons the Lord has shown me. But the results have been so beautiful and worth every little bit of effort.

  6. Me to. I don’t struggle as much with this as I used to..but I do have my days…especially those days where I feel the weight of my responsibilities of wife and mother bearing down on me instead of uplifting me….we are human and we stumble, but as many of my fellow blogging friends have reminded me…Christ’s mercy is new every day…Praise the Lord!!

  7. A very good reminder Janis…often I forget how powerful the spoken word is, and unfortunately it requires “damage control” afterwards.

  8. You have defintely hit home for me–and I know many women. Boy, the tongue can get “wild” if we are not careful. Thank you for the biblical reminder!

  9. Thanks for the words of wisdom, but dont be to hard on yourself. Remember we are all works in progress, trying to grow, and learn every day from God’s word. I think you are well on your way to the person you hope to become.


  10. Oooh, that hurts! My main weapon when I’m angry is my tongue. I am not proud of that and try really hard to tame that sucker! Thanks for those great scriptures to meditate on!!

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *