It has been a long and tiring week. As I laid in bed last night (at 8:10), I began to think about why I was so tired. I had a nap yesterday and hadn’t done too much, so why did I feel so beat down and tired? While I could attribute it to the hours that we have had to spend at the dance studio in the last few weeks getting ready for competition next week, it was really not that much time. Or I could say it was because of work, but I haven’t really been doing that much work. I finally got “real” with myself and realized that it was a combination of two different things. The first is my weight. While I have been working out 2-3 times per week for an hour at a time, my food choices have sucked in a big way. My personal trainer has drilled into my head that sugar will cause me to feel bad, but I just keep eating it anyway. That, in addition to my attitude of thinking that I “deserve” to eat everything that I want is truly causing me to feel worse than I ever have. No more excuses. I need to make changes.
Secondly, I let myself off too easy. Some days I truly need a nap, but other days, I am just procrastinating on doing work. The veil of darkness and depression that I feel sometimes is hard to battle, but it is just that-a battle.
I can truly say that just coming to those conclusions has opened my eyes. Today there has been no nap and there was no TV for most of the day. I got lots of work done and I feel better both mentally and physically. One day at a time….