Today, 24 years ago, I had one of my childhood dreams come true. You see, I had always wanted to be a mom. I wanted to have a baby and watch him or her grow up into an independent adult. I put all of myself into that job and don’t regret any of it, except for one thing. I forgot who I was. You see, I had wrapped all of my dreams up in becoming one thing – a mother. Once I became one, I forgot who Janis was.
In favor of mothering, I let friends fall to the wayside and any hobbies I had were quickly pushed to the side. It is hard work to be a mom – especially to a newborn, so it is understandable it happened. It is a normal part of life for moms. However, I never went back to the old me, thinking my life was just fine with my family I was growing.
I never gave myself permission to be Janis when my kids were growing up. My husband and I would take weekend trips away, but I never felt like I was me. I felt like the mom of Jacob, KellyAnn, and Abbie. Worrying about how they were. Wondering if they had been picked up to school or taken to dance. I could not release myself from being a mom.
God Gave You Purpose
This is not healthy. As women, we think our God-given duty is to pour into our children to help them grow. However, I don’t believe that God meant for us to do this at the expense of our goals and our dreams. He gave us a purpose on this Earth and this seed of purpose needs tending to grow. I let my seed just lie there in my heart.
Searching For Me
Fast forward 20ish years from Jacob’s birth and you find a woman who is feeling very out of sorts. My children were becoming adults and the middle one packed up for college. I expected her leaving would fracture my spirit, but instead, it gave me inspiration. Inspiration to find me once again.
It took one last year of being miserable at a job that had burned me out to give me the kick in the pants to make a change. In May 2019, I gave myself permission to leave my job – if I could make as much money writing and VAing during the summer. In July 2019, I resigned from my job and dove headfirst into freelancing and independent contracting.
Tending the Seed
I have learned quite a bit about myself over the last 8ish months. First of all, I went to a business conference in November all by myself. It was hard, but it was what I needed to begin thinking of my freelancing as a job. I began listening to podcasts, spending time with God, and reading about personal development. Some of the ladies I met through the business conference are still in my life. I am in groups with them and we encourage each other.
The seed inside me is beginning to sprout and grow. My goal is to help other moms realize they are so much more than a mom. They have dreams. They have goals. They have a purpose. Even in the throes of motherhood, God wants you to grow. He wants you to flourish. Let me help you find ways to tend your purpose to create a more fulfilled life for you now and in the future. We all can be more than a mom. We can be the woman God wants us to be – from mom to speaker to author to business owner to encourager and more.