Don’t get me wrong. I love my life. I am content with my life. However, I have recently begun to wonder am I really living? I am breathing, therefore, I am alive, however, am I enjoying and living each day the fullest? 

The answer is “no.” I live. I get through my days. I take care of everything that needs to be taken care of. Inside I am wondering if I am living up to all that God has for me. I don’t think he meant for us to simply eke out our days in average existence. He meant us to LIVE! 

The last two years have been difficult ones for me personally. 2014 was when I fell and dislocated my shoulder, and this sent me into a painful tailspin that I am still recovering from. Early 2015 brought me more pain when I sat at my grandmother’s bedside while she took her last breath. Another step back. Mid-2015 brought surgery that left me largely incapacitated for 3 months. Another step back. Just when I thought I was getting back on track, I had to deal with a tooth abscess that led to having teeth extracted and that I have dealt with for over 6 weeks. Another step back.

My life has been a series of step backs for the last 18 months, and I am tired of it. I want to stamp my feet about it. I want to scream about it. I want to cry about it. I want it to end. 

I have been contemplating all of these things for the last few days and feel that God is saying, “I have a new dream for you. I have been with you through all of this, and it is preparing you for this new dream. Embrace your pain. Then get up and continue on. I have great things for you.” 

So, in honor of this new dream, I am going to restart my old dream – Seeds of Thought…Let’s see what 2016 brings.